Survivor Depression

I have been unemployed for 2 1/2 years.  I thought I would work as a statistician for the movie companies,  watch the movies, watch people, reactions.  I enjoyed the popcorn, the kids sweeping up after each movie, the comments of the people leaving, the ability to see the movies before anyone else.  I enjoyed learning about the demographics of movie goers and the reactions to each trailer.  I enjoyed being part of the counts that I would send in each night  after the movie to the movie companies.

 A single man ruined it for me, a very maniacal  man who dressed up in full combat gear, armed to the teeth with guns and ammunition who shot the people I  watch, shot children and families and friends in   the theater I was suppose to be working in.  

I had the sickest feeling, I now know it was a survivor guilt.  When I go to work in theater 9, I sit in the back row of the first group of seats, the ones you sit in when the good seats in the mezzanine are full, the ones that you have to look up a little,  I use the two closest to the door so I don't disturb the others when I am looking at the reactions and when I leave early.  I didn't go that night because I finally got a chance to get a  better job if I passed the State of Colorado Insurance Certification, so I took that weekend off so I could study.  I know it was lucky that I did, but the feeling I had was relief  and such sadness, a very sick sadness.  I am so sorry for all the families, I am so sad that the kids in  the concession stand that I see each week had to experience anything like that in their young lives.  I love movies, but I now have one more place that I go that is very near to me that I cannot feel safe in again.  I know safety is everyone's responsibility, but how can I be responsible for trying to be safe in this situation?  I am angry that it happened, they have three to four policemen at the theater, they move through the theaters all night long.  How would they know he came in and opened the door and left and returned with the resolve to kill people in theater 9?  ? 

I went to make some sense of it, I saw tire marks where they should not have been, tape and tv reporters like flies around a dead carcass.  Photographers were everywhere.  I was trying to say good bye to my job, to the kids, to the emotions.  I was approached by a photographer and asked why I had the police tape, I said I really didn't know, it just seemed right at the time.  I had a leaf from the tree I walk by each night I worked too.  Something alive and green and something that marked death, it just seemed appropriate, and tears.  Tears still come when I think about it.. it will be some time before I can talk about it without them.  

  

Bid, Bid, Bid

We have started listing items on Ebay,  let me tell you it is a project to do.  From the measuring to the postage, taking pics and then praying that they sell.  Whew.  I am just starting on the collection of porcelain chamber pots that graced our shabby chic home and moved into some of the Aluminum from the 50's.  Wish me luck I loved them, it is just time for them to find another forever home to be clean and dusted in.



I have one bid so far, not earth shaking but exciting non the less. Click on the link to see one of our offers... ebay is one of our avenues for selling our home stuff, and the big stuff will go to the consignment store or Craigs List.  It is funny that it is going back to be sold to the store that I bought it from.

I am glad to start working toward the deadline.  I only get happier each day it gets one day closer to leaving and relaxing.

I think Ed deserves it and so do I.

Here's a pic of my white granite porcelain Chamber pot,, I only bought this one because the person who was  standing near it in the store originally was speaking of the nice soup tureen.  I just had to save her from herself.  I was amazed that they didn't know it was a personal toilet.  Maybe it was the person who was trying to sell it being crafty.  I never thought of that... funny huh?

I wish you peace or the strength to find yours.

                                                            What do you think?  Soup Tureen or Personal Toilet?

Our LearnVest Interview On Our Move to Ecuador

We are interviewed about our move to Ecuador by LearnVest!  We were notified that it was one of the largest commented interviews.  Our surprise was extra nice to see our kids comment on the comments.  They are the true blue behind our family love.  We did the interview because we needed others to know that there are alternatives to worry and stress.  Ed and I worried about the long term care we might need and the fact that we could not afford it in the States.  We worried that we would not have any quality of life and we really thought that we worked hard enough to at least get that in our retirement years so the search went on to find a country that offered amenities, health care, and a quality of life that addressed all the things that Ed and I would like to have.  We found Ecuador fit all of the requirements.

I am working on getting Gabe our youngest settled with his Certificate of Naturalization and passport.  We are working on what we are sellling versus trashing.  The documents that are needing apostile are being gathered along with working on dog paperwork for the importing of pets.

We are looking at clothing, we each have our piles and are reworking them monthly. It makes me feel like there is something solid when I put clothing piles in baskets to be decided on, it makes it real.  We still look at each other and ask, "Still a go, right?"  We are both relieved that the search is over, and are now just working on what we can to show progress until we can go.

Aub loved the car load of goodies we brought to North Dakota, and Gabe was kind enough to leave a web page for a dumpster up on my laptop, just in case.  How cute, right. I think he thought he was helping.

We are trying to sell the items that we will not need after the season is complete, like lawnmowers, and anticipate the other seasons that we have items for sale, like fall and Christmas.  We are trying to maximize our profits and decrease the waste.  Recycling is big in our lives.  

Well, we hope you read our article, click on the Learnvest to follow the link.

We wish you happiness in your life or the will to find it.

Regifting, Destashing, Trashing

Ed and I have acquired quite the collection of "Stuff".  Our children have complained for years that we are border line hoarders.  We are very different generations, we save items for the next use versus going out to buy it again or new when we have a need.  I do agree that we have a lot and we made a huge dent in it this weekend. 

Aubrey Katherine my adorable daughter is graduating from Nursing School this week and we traveled to Buchanan, North Dakota from Denver, Colorado with a car loaded inside and out with items she requested from our stash, we re gifted a few paintings and wool carpets and our awesome massage chair from "Sharper Image."  This is in keeping with our thoughts of usefulness and usability.  They are just starting out and appreciate the items. I told them both that they have to think of us when they are jiggling in the massage chair. 

We have announced our adventure and next steps with our family and we struggle with explaining the reason  why we are leaving to go to another country. We have received positive and negative responses.    They ask us what is wrong with staying here, why so far away, why go to a Third World country.  I think Ed came up with the best response.  We are outsourcing our retirement to a location that we can afford and offers us the best deal for our investment.  It is all about ROI.  I think it is the best explanation.  How about you?

Ed and I are excited and are really looking forward to making this work for us.  The work that is necessary to get there is just part of the adventure. We are working on getting our documents apostilled and get our passports in order per our lawyers in Ecuador's request. We have contacted the consulate for paperwork necessary for the pensioners visa.  We are on our way!

Whoever said, "The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step." was speaking to us. 

Decision Made

Well, we did it.  Ed and I finally decided it would be Ecuador.  Our hours researching on the internet, reading blogs and travel and trek guides have helped us make the decision to retire and start our next life adventure in Ecuador.

We have had less than an idyllic life since we moved to Colorado.  The loss of my job and the financial situation in America made us think that there had to be a better alternative than working until we were 70 to try to retire.  We are sad that we need to leave, but to stay would be financial suicide.

I am always trying to do better with the money we have and I'm a member of  "Learn Vest.com "  I read their information and sign up for any courses that they offer to help make more of the money we do have. I recently wrote in their Financial Confession page about leaving America for greener pastures in Ecuador and received a request from their offices for an interview, as they have been hearing from people who feel the same way that Ed and I do.  We were told that our story could be the catalyst for helping others with alternatives that they had not explored.  I do hope that others take the chance to control their lives instead of letting the economy control it for them.

We are going to sell everything, pack only our clothing, say our goodbyes and start our adventures; it will be a very good fit.  Ed is even trying very hard to learn some Spanish before we go!

We have engaged our lawyers in Ecuador to help with the residency, we have made mentor contacts in Cuenca; the city we will start out in and are corresponding with expats that have been in our shoes very recently.

Join us for our journey, chapter by chapter.